Feb. 15th, 2017

newlifeinstpaul: (facepalm)
The guy that used to run our local Cedar Fair park has obviously had enough of their shit.
He doesn't work for them anymore. He took a job at the zoo.

They thought well of him. Even said so on the quarterly conference call today.
Dammit. Guess I can pull his business card and direct line from my pegboard in Four.

But DAYUM it had to be as frustrating working for those corporate fuckbats as it was to attend Valleyfair and watch nothing go on. They've only invested in more ways to pocket people's money. Not entertain them.

Remember the year they closed the Antique Cars and replaced them with an extra-cost attraction? Or shut down the public picnic area, replacing it with a catered only zone for groups? How 'bout the year after that, when they added a new 'zone' of one new ride, repainted old rides and 'holes' where the old rides used to sit...?

While they were mucking about, Des Moines' family-owned park was pulling together a better waterpark than ours. Followed by a swing ride taller than ours. Followed by a world-class coaster. Which they added to their existing charm and personality. Of which we have NONE.

Said who? The former VP himself. To me. Didn't exactly have to drag it from him, either. Valleyfair is charmless. It has no soul.

Cedar Fair loves parks with a 'soul.' At least now that Matt Ouimet's in and Little 'Pavement and Coasters' Dicky is gone. A park with a 'brand' is a park they can spend less money on and still draw attendance. They can get away with that at Knotts Berry Farm...but that's cuz it's been there since the 40s. It has a specific identity and resonance with people who grew up around it.


Here in Minnesota? The Renaissance Festival has a 'brand.' The State Fair has MORE than a 'brand.' The Mall of America was built decades after Valleyfair, but guess what it's got? A BRAND. Valleyfair has nothing of the sort.

I s'pose what was even more sickening was Cedar Fair's statement today that they're asking corporate leaders in our area what Valleyfair's 'brand' is. Which means the focus groups of season passholders they surveyed this summer said Why don't you build a new coaster? It's only been ten years and that's not what they wanted to hear. *headdesk headdesk headdesk headdesk*

Well, at least Six Flags Great America's building that coaster from San Antonio I was obsessed with. Once B's ready, it's off for some quality rides.


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