newlifeinstpaul: (Babies on Sugar 2008)
[personal profile] newlifeinstpaul
In September, I purchased my Valleyfair Season Pass for 2017. Thought it was a Great Deal.
Free parking, admission from May 7th (a week before the public) 'till Halloween for only $70.
Works for me.

On the other hand, there's the new Valleyfair MegaDouche Pass*.

Full season admission, all the soda you wanna drink, two meals on the house per visit AND first-in-line for the 'best' rides every visit. For only 'bout Three Hundred Bucks a person.

What's wrong with this picture? Besides the fact that this year's new ride is essentially last year's new ride on stilts...?

I'll tell ya what. That they're not ALSO offering Valet Parking for an additional $150 per season.

If anyone wants to pay that much for Valleyfair...? Hell, sell it to 'em. TAKE THEIR MONEY.

Oh, wait. I'd give away 'ValleyFair First Class' T-shirts to the first 300 MegaDouche purchasers.
And ship them to their houses. As in NOW. Right Now. D-Bags attract other D-Bags who'd pay just as much to feel Extra Speshul. Get them boasting about it now! Why pay for television time when you can unleash Free, Blubbering Billboards that Won't Shut Up? Honestly!




*My name for it, not theirs

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