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I am a complete contradiction of nature.
In laymans' terms, a man with a few brain cells still firing. In his big brain.
Yes, yes...I understand. We're goofy, crude, have hair growing everywhere and we smell. Nevertheless, a cruel, cosmic joke dictates women are still drawn to us. Trust me. We men aren't developed enough to understand it either.
Saved from chaos by a freak lab accident, I endeavor to rationally explain the erratic behavior of our gender. Talk about biting off more than you can chew, huh? At the same time, I battle my Y-chromosone infection. You know what that is, right? The constant urge to guzzle brew, let my knees and knuckles scrape the ground and start grunting "GOOOOOOOOOOOORRLS!!!!!!" instead of getting to know them through conversations involving complete sentences.
When I'm off duty, I enjoy beaches, sandcastles, waterslides, roller coasters, bicycling and any excuse to get outside when the weather's good. When it isn't, I press my lips and nose against the glass of my window and weep. :-P
OTHER VITAL STATS: Father of two daughters (Photos? Icons? Videos? Yeah, them!)
Very single by choice. I suppose The Right Girl could change that.
But I think she's off riding unicorns with the Easter Bunny and Bigfoot.
UPDATE: Oh look what the Unicorn just dragged in...
The following is in Closed-Minded Captions for the Thinking Impaired
Do You Know This Man? No, you don't. He isn't me. I'm not him. Frankly, he isn't even the guy in the photo.
In this forum, he is naught but a character. He is shtick. In my artistic expression of 'Breaking the Secret Man-Code,' I allow 'him' to say what men actually think, but 98.5% never say aloud.
To be honest, he's all of us. Yes, you too. Regardless of age or gender. We judge people based on their appearance. You. Me. Everybody. We look in the mirror and judge ourselves. We look at the media and decide what is desirable, what isn't, who we wish to spend out spare time and even the rest of our lives based on what our Laser Beams happen to fall on. We think things we aren't 'supposed' to say or think, despite the fact that each and every one of us do. Thoughts you can be reliably counted on to think, of all things. Anyone who'd say otherwise is the worst kind of liar; the kind that tells them to themselves.
If you'd like to get to know me? That requires reading and freely thinking. No less.
If you're not up to the challenge, run along. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find someone who'll tell you what to do and how to think.
< / soapbox >
Now, where were the rest of us?
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