newlifeinstpaul: (Kissy)
Every now and then, I get started on a 'Where Do I Start?' comment and by the time the smoke clears, I've written half the KJV about it and decide to post it to my blog too. Just so you know,ninety percent of the time it's Rikki's fault. But anyway...

Is 'Love At First Sight' a crock of...




A fair number of spout those words really are ARE full of it.
Scratch that, I'd wager most of them are.
Or delusional. And I'm not saying that simply because I'm cynical.

The primary obstacle with most folk who don't find That Real Person For is, quite simply THEM. Generally, they expect Mr. or Ms. Right to have a certain number of preconceived ephemeral attributes--usually (predictably?) for all the wrong reasons. Looks fade or change or vanish; in some cases, as quickly as some folks can drop a makeup brush. New cars rust. High-paying corporations hold massive layoffs. Did I miss one? Oh, wait--ARMs adjust. And then what do you have?

Or perhaps they haven't come to the realization of who they themselves are. And if you haven't figured that out, you can't possibly define what you want in someone else.

Not quite as horrid (but only slightly less so) are those who actually know who they are, but aren't at peace with it. Off they scurry to re-invent themselves to be 'just right' for the just-wrong person.

Since I don't wish to point fingers, I'll use myself as an example. For some strange reason, I imagined I'd find That Girl at some nightclub I'd No Longer Be Horrified to Step Inside a week after Some Fine Day after I learned how to dance. Meanwhile, I'd let Women who'd Never Set Foot in One And Look Great in Full Daylight While You're Sober pass me by the dozens while my head was stuck in...a sandpile. Yes. That's what I was about to say.

And don't get me started about one gal who actually pretended she didn't smoke or drink or hit every bar in town at least once because she figured she should date a Squeaky Clean Nice Guy who Wasn't On Death Row (me) for once. Yes, she's still a friend of mine. No, she still hasn't quit smoking four years later. Tho in hindsight, watching her desperately chew spearmint gum WAS kinda funny...

The People You Are When You Aren't Faking it have to match. Not to a tee, but who you are and what you REALLY like and where you're planning to go in this life have to.

And how long does it generally take before people drop the pretenses and start being real?



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