Trick photography...?

[newlifeinstpaul]

Or, What We See in a Picture

So Fry Fry opened at the Mall next to Burger Burger (Inorite? Imagine the ODDS) and I was nosing around as I've been known to do.

While I was snapping pics of the menu, somebody picked up an order. They looked AMAZING. I messaged B with a photo. You can only imagine her response....

"WHO-DAT-BITCH?!?!?!?!?!?"

In all fairness, the exact response was Who are you shopping with and where did those fries come from? but those are only words. We all know what she MEANT.

Men Are Dumb™ and Vastly Dumber Things Involving Dumb Men Have Happened™ but come on now. If I was a Cheating POS (and I'm not, nor do I plan to be ever--let's get that out there?) I would most certainly not be Trottin' Some Side Booty 'round the Most Public Indoor Spot we've got. Just sayin'.

Here's what happened in Real Life.

Me: OMG those look good. Can I get a photo of those for my wife?
Random Girl: Okay.
Me: Only the fries, tho.
RG: *holds them away from herself*
Me: Sorry, only the fries.
RG: *friend of hers moves from the background*
Me: *clicks phone* Thanks. Really appreciate it.


Fingers of potato, honey. Fingers. Of. Potato.

Comments

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

"These are the potatoes I am cheating on you with. Watch as I bring them to my lips..."

You could have gone farther. "Here, can you hand them to this car mechanic with coarse man-hands, please...just for a moment?"

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Taterlingus.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

Don't think she won't taste the salt on you or smell the lingering fumes of fry....

[one-raido.livejournal.com]

Those do look good and I'm not really a fan of fries.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

...or Ketchup 'round my collar.
Scratch that, garlic aioli. These pota-hoes all FANCY.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

See? Can't blame ME. Even people who Don't Swing That Way are thinkin' about it.

[ragnarok-08.livejournal.com]

Oh wow - those fries do look good :3

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

I'm always suspicious of thick cut fries with skin left on - they never seem to be as crispy as they should be. You show me shoestring potato chips and I'll be bowling people over on my way to reach them first . . .

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

lol. I'd be a bit offended, if I were you, that she thinks you might be dumb enough to actually send her a snap of your mistress holding a bunch of fries.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

I swear fo' GAWD, you Prairie Canadians.
How 'boat these, eh.....?




Crunchy MINT flavour. Muuaaahaha!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

And that's with a phone flash firing.
Imagine how much more fry-sexy they were in ambient light!

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

What even is that crap? N'aw man, I'll eat Hickory Sticks if I'm desperate, but give me a crispy, skinny, well seasoned baggie o' fries, and I'm theirs.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Hickory Sticks as a LAST resort?
I'd always been told they were the Center of the Universe! :P

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

Well, if I want shoestring fries, they're definitely a last resort. But I know that I'm in the minority in that view - there really are folks who will Accept No Substitute.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

I hear people's preferences change relative to their distance from the Halfway Tree.

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

I allow that this is possible, though my sister was on my side of the tree and she was an absolute fiend about the sticks . . .

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Put her on the FIRST pickup truck to Brandon. Hurry!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Oh? I'd considered it a vote of confidence that I'd cavort with an 85-pound girl slightly younger than Midget.
But now that you put it that way......

[cplady.livejournal.com]

This is EXACTLY my thought.

[gansje.livejournal.com]

LOL!

Yeah, I would've done the same thing, even though I know full well that L would never be so dumb as to either take his side piece to a mall in front of everybody, or only take her out for fries. I think I've groomed him better than that. Fries are my thing, dude. Mine!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

That's honestly not so far-fetched when you understand the nature of Fuck-Ups and their Fucking Up.

After enough time passes Fucking Up, Fuck-Ups go 'nose-deaf' toward their behavior. They lose their bearings on What's Messed Up to an extent that Fucking Up isn't Fucking Up unless it's Really REALLY Fucking Up.

So a Extra Jaded Fuck-Up might have a pic on his phone with his arm around his trollop--figuring it's fine because his hand isn't down her shirt.

None of which I've done. But I know people and there ya go.

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, fries

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Chips!

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

Chips, yes!

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

I NEED THOSE FRIES.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Inorite???
I have yet to try them myself...

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

You should come up and see us sometime.
We've got a spare bedroom.

Okay actually we have three spare bedrooms, but one's fully furnished with a bed and all.
We might even spare you a bathroom. There's only three.

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

Maybe this summer! Depends on how up for a road trip I am! :) (I despise road trips.)

I can bring Aidan.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

It's six hours each way, give or take.
(The give/take would mostly depend on traffic 'round you)