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I don't get all the fuss over PoTC. Never did.
I suppose the strangest thing about that is the fact I'm not your typical hater. As a Y chromosome holder, I obviously like Bruckheimer films just for their steady boom-crash-crash-blammo-kapowie diet of Things That Would Be Really Cool To Blow The Hell Up. And Johnny Depp? Edward Scissorhands was stunning. Ed Wood? Talk about one line said over and over that got FUNNIER every...single...time. I thought his interpretation of Willy Wonka was astounding. Hell, I even watched 21 Jump Street every Sunday night back in the day. Mind you, it was more for Holly Robinson--but he was there, too.
But I sat through PoTC like WTF? Most of it, anyway. I couldn't remain interested enough to stay awake for the ending--even after he got run through in the swordfight and got back up. Just didn't do it for me.
I mean....an effeminate, drunken pirate coated in eyeshadow? Huh?
I suppose I'm old (and fortunate) enough to remember finding Nate and Hayes in a video store when VHS was new and exciting. A girl, a pirate, a straight-laced goodie two-shoes, a love triangle of sorts, corrupt local authori-tays--it was all there, too. I could only think, oh look! Nate and Hayes again! Only with 50 times the special effects and a fraction of the character development. And the swashbuckling, clever pirate that was head-and-shoulders the smartest man on the screen, too.
It's not as if I even hate it or think it sucks per se. Anaconda? Now THAT'S actual bad film. This one's just meh to me. Besides, it gets young gals in pirate skirts and that's nice too!
Maybe I should just chew another prune and grumble.
Whippersnappers better stay out of my crabapple tree too...
I suppose the strangest thing about that is the fact I'm not your typical hater. As a Y chromosome holder, I obviously like Bruckheimer films just for their steady boom-crash-crash-blammo-kapowie diet of Things That Would Be Really Cool To Blow The Hell Up. And Johnny Depp? Edward Scissorhands was stunning. Ed Wood? Talk about one line said over and over that got FUNNIER every...single...time. I thought his interpretation of Willy Wonka was astounding. Hell, I even watched 21 Jump Street every Sunday night back in the day. Mind you, it was more for Holly Robinson--but he was there, too.
But I sat through PoTC like WTF? Most of it, anyway. I couldn't remain interested enough to stay awake for the ending--even after he got run through in the swordfight and got back up. Just didn't do it for me.
I mean....an effeminate, drunken pirate coated in eyeshadow? Huh?
I suppose I'm old (and fortunate) enough to remember finding Nate and Hayes in a video store when VHS was new and exciting. A girl, a pirate, a straight-laced goodie two-shoes, a love triangle of sorts, corrupt local authori-tays--it was all there, too. I could only think, oh look! Nate and Hayes again! Only with 50 times the special effects and a fraction of the character development. And the swashbuckling, clever pirate that was head-and-shoulders the smartest man on the screen, too.
It's not as if I even hate it or think it sucks per se. Anaconda? Now THAT'S actual bad film. This one's just meh to me. Besides, it gets young gals in pirate skirts and that's nice too!
Maybe I should just chew another prune and grumble.
Whippersnappers better stay out of my crabapple tree too...
