GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Talking about how women can be one hundred and forty-five percent evil when they wanna be....

B: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG...
Me: *half awake on her couch* What-the...are you having a seizure? DON'T BITE YOUR TONGUE!
B: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG Baybee!
Me: What?
B: CELINE DION is having a concert here!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh, flaming bags of cow plop. Buckle up.
(I know, all too easy. Can-ehh-dian girl, Can-ehh-dian singer blah blah blah let's move on shall we?)
Me: So when is she coming to town?
B: October 30^th, 2008.
Me: Riggggght. Okay! So what else did you bring from Bos--
B: TICKETS GO ON SALE TO-MORE-OH!!!!!!
Me: They.
B: To-MORE-OH!!!!!
Me: And again. They. WOT?!?!?!?
B: OMGOMGOMGOMG I-have-to-see-her-If-I-don't-I'll-just-
Me: That's a YEAR from now. Like, a whole YEAR.
B: I-won't-just-die-my-head-will-explode-no-there-IS-no-possible-NOT-see-her
Me: Why that little French Canadian WITCH.
(Hello? Speaking of Celine, of course?)
Why does she need my money NOW?
B: Do-you-understand-the-words-coming-outta-my-mouth? MUSTMUSTMUSTMUST

Flashback
Saturday, parking the car
in the Target lot

Oh, wait. I almost forgot. Bloo_blooblooBLOO^blooBLOObloobloo_blooblooBloo

LP: Daddy?
Me: What?
LP: DADDY!
Me: What?
LP: Brenda isn't in the car right now, okayyyyyy?
Me: *Vaguely realizes Top 40 station changed songs from rap to rock*
LP: It's okay to change the channellllll....
Me: You ain't right.
LP: At least you didn't have it on lame ol' KS95.
Me: HEY!
LP: Didn't Brenda change one of your radio buttons to it?
Me: Watch that, you. Besides, that was just Daughtry.
LP: Oh really? How did you know?
Me: I'm warning you!
LP: Can we wait in the car?
Me: Whatever.

A few minutes later

Midget: Whatcha get?
Me: The Alicia Keyes CD.
LP: And what else?
Me: Does it matter?
LP: Uhhhhh yeah?
Me: Fine! I got Celine Dion!
Babies: WHO?!?!?!?!?!??
LP: Oh DANG.
Me: Shut up! It's for Brenda.
Midget: Who's Celine Dion?
LP: I think she's the one who sang that Titanic song.
Me: And that's about all I know myself!

Bloo_blooblooBLOO^blooBLOObloobloo_blooblooBloo

B: Gotta-gotta-gotta-I-can't-believe-I-can-actually-be-in-the-same-zip-code-with-
Me: OH GOD HELP ME I hear you.

Today
10:03 am

My phone: Riiiing!
Me: Secret place of employment, Newlife speaking.
B: Baby? I've got TicketMaster.com on my screen right now and--
Me: Don't do it.
B: WHAT?
Me: Don't buy them.
B: Why?
Me: Cuz I'm out $125 for seats that suck already?
B: Baby?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
Me: Never mind the chew marks in my backside. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow!