Naughty naughty NAUGHTY naughty Holiday photos!

XXXX Turkey Day PR0N! XXXX

Oh you might wanna shield the little kiddie's eyes before you look at this.
Or anyone who's slaving away in a kitchen.
Or anybody who's even the slightest bit resembling that word called Hungry.

You know that odd compulsion men have to compare theirs to everyone else's?
Well, uh...

...boyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoinnnnnnng!

Oh, and I haven't even unzipped--I mean, pulled open the door yet!
Wait till you see THIS!




*blinding light fills the neighborhood, heavenly chorus goes "Ahhhhhhh^ahhhhAHHHHHahhhhhhh_{OoooooohAhhhhh}AHHHHH"*


The turkey has been in the smoka since not quite eleven last night. It will probably be in there till about 2...cooking very VERY slowly over smoldering hickory, apple and maple.

Oh, oh, oh. WAIT. I haven't told you everything yet.
Guess what it's basting in?
What's the most excessive, decadent thing you could use?
Broth? Margarine? Butter? Oh, pish posh.
Amateur material, I tell you.
I can't work under such conditions.

How 'bout seasoned PO'K FAT?
No, seriously!

Look above the turkey.
Why else would anybody put a shoulder in to smoke over a 20-pound bird?
It's true, baby. All true.
Cain't tell me I'm not black!
I should ISSUE the damn Ghetto passes!

Okay, that's enough testosterone-laden male posturing for now.
Now I gotta put on my apron and tidy up 'round the kitchen!