About my fries...

So where did I git mah burger and fries yesterday?



Whahhhhh, Checkers.

It's a double drahhhhhhhhhhhhhve-thru resti-rount come from Mobile, Alabama.
Dem buildins? They're pre-fabricated, see?
Just lahhhhk the homes of a great many customuhs.

Now before you start wailing that I'm beating up on them?
See for yourself!

Not only is there a NASCAR burger, see this one?



That, my friends, is the BIG BUFORD.
Yes. BUFORD. You read correctly.
See? I can't even make that up!


I swear I should do a show on Food Network called "Double-Wide Cuisine" cuz I cain't seem to stop eating this kinda stuff.

The interviews would doubtless be interesting:

Chef: And thin ah adds a lil' bit o' fatback an--
Bo: *interrupting* You one o' dem Yankees, aintya?
Me: Why, yes I am. I grew up on the West Side of Detroit, actually.
Bo: Wheyah's yo gun?
Me: Don't have one.
Bo: Never had one?
Me: No. Dad was pretty handy with one, but that's because he was a sharpshooter.
Bo: From them Crips or Bloods or--
Me: Navy. The Navy.
Bo: *squints*
Me: Sorry to...disappoint. I guess.
Bo: Yew talk funny.
Me: Yeah. Well, the people where I lived thought so, too.
Bo: And you walk with your butt all tight.
Me: I...excuse me, what?
Chef: Ain't you sposeda be tendin' to mah gladiola bulbs?
Bo: Sorry. *shuffles off*
Chef: He's mah gardener. *whispers* He's not too bright.
Me: Never mind. We'll edit that out.

Unfortunately, I'd probably have to be outta most of the towns I visit come-a-darkness....

Marital cynicism?

Blame that Lawn Giland misfit princess_design for this.

You know, if I had $1500 to throw into the air and a wedding wasn't really much more these days than a damned silly command performance so three-times-divorced overly-made-up matron-types who still can't get past That Day can gouge out your eyeballs with the cost of food and dinner mints and napkins but meanwhile you know if you perform like good enough circus monkeys to please all the relatives, they'll shower you with enough cash to break even if not turn a profit...




...then this would SO be Brenda's wedding dress.

Head-to-toe sock monkeys, each with individual name tags.
WIN.

KIDS.

See, this is what I have to remember when those Babies do something that make me wanna.......OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

That teenage kids? Are evil.
And don't give a crap.