To do? To DURRRRRRR?

Somebody remind me...

...to update my user profile one of these days.
Can you tell I haven't done much to it in the last two years?
Among other things:

- Midget's still WAY shorter than LP
- You can still send me valentines. Honestly, VALENTINES?
- If you stop reading soon enough, you might even conclude I'm still single.
Single? Me? I don't think you could find a man farther off the market!

Frankly, the only reason I haven't changed it sooner is that Brenda always liked the 'look what the unicorn dragged in' line introducing her. But overall, my profile needs some SERIOUS dusting off.

Yeah.

Oh poor me.

Post-marital whining, continued

I find my lack of television watching TOTALLY unacceptable.
How in God's name have I managed not to catch up on Glee yet?
And now I'll fall behind by yet ANOTHER episode.

It's not as if I'll miss them. Nope, not a chance.
Bumblebee and DoddyDualCore are both dual-tuner DVRs these days with loads of hard drive space. None of which solves my problems with oh whaddaya call it, slips my mind wait that's right WATCHING THEM?

I spent all Monday night in front of the tube, entertaining the pleasant-but-improbable fantasy that one of the Packers would knock Favre straight into the middle of next week, and then and THEN? the Vikes would win without him. Or failing that, that they'd at least give Jared Allen credit for the victory with all those sacks and a safety--A SAFETY! instead of that overpaid, overrated pain in the neck but noooooooooooooooooooooooo.

And then last night the Tigers and Twinkies spent forever and EVER deciding who was gonna wind up cannon fodder for the Stankees.

To think I could chosen either night to have been entertained instead!

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And what's the deal with my freakin' finger width?
I swear fo' God, literal real-life ACCORDION BAFFLES keep their size more consistently.

One minute, I've got gigantaloid ham hands and I can't pull my wedding band to my knuckle, much less over it...but if I'm running, riding a coaster, sitting in a hot tub or let's just say any activity where thick, sausage fingers might come in handy? Of course. Little pretzel twigs. Dubya Tee EFFF?!?!?!?!?!?

So I wind up running with my hands balled into fists like I'm thirty seconds offa punching somebody or taking on-ride coaster photos looking like I'm 70s animated Spiderman spinning a (bleep)ing WEB so my band doesn't go sailing off in a ditch where I'll never find it again.

Stoopid hand!