Paging Captain Pompous?

So tonight LeBronze is going to hold a press conference--nay, scratch that--a freakin' PRIMETIME TELEVISION SPECIAL to announce which basketball team he's going to play for next year. Can you believe that (bleep)?

I couldn't like a player any less if he played ~~four~~ no make that FIVE years at Duke and won the NCAA tourney every year and put grease paint under his eyes with half the Old Testament written verse-for-verse in it and slapped the other players during practice about the head, neck and face even harder than KG ~~did~~ does and THEN married Young Mother Teresa, only to make babies behind her back with each and every one of Tiger Woods' girlfriends' slightly-more-evil-and-deranged twins.

And that's not even cuz he played for Ohio State and I'm from Michigan.

You know, the saddest thing about The Second Coming of Charles Barkley, Only With As Much Charisma As Chuck's Freshly-Clipped Pinkie Toenail on a Gas Station Bathroom Floor is that he'll likely join a player that actually IS good enough to carry a team on his back to a NBA championship (cuz hello, D-Wade's DONE it before?) and actually believe all the glory had to do with him.

I wish I could print what I call him during games here, but I won't.

While it's completely devoid of profanity, even Brenda (who's almost used to me?) always interrupts me to say that it's far too mean.

Not TODAY it isn't!