(no subject)

Good going, MarathonFoto.

So guess what 'official race photographer' has absolutely NO photos of me running the Monster Dash?

13 miles, you could probably count the black folks on your damn fingers out of 8000 runners and seriously? Not one of you lazy asses could pull off a snap? What a joke.

Then again, during my one (and likely only) full marathon, they seemed to only catch and label pics of me walking after mile 18. Remember this really cool one, where it looks like I'm a damn Kenyan and everyone's trying to catch me?



I had to sift through 18 kabillion 'we-dunno-who-this-is' pics to get it. Why? Why!??!?!?

Guess I have to do that again. I'm SO inspired to spend money with these people.

< / grouchrant >

(no subject)

He'll Always Have His Own Thang

B: Doesn't he look like Sinbad to you?
Me: Uhhhhhhhh NO.
B: Yes he does.
Me: Why, just cuz he's light-skinty and has a goatee?
B: He doesn't look like Sinbad to you?
Me: NO.
B: ...
Me: Probably because there was a Heavy D before there was a Sinbad.

Once upon a time between Michael (as far as black folks in general were concerned, anyway) and hardcore rap (which came before and is distinctively different than gangsta) came Teddy Riley and the 'New Jack Swang' sound. It had its particular look and its own beat and came with high-top fades, padded shoulders on all women's clothing and, of course, the prerequisite Two Black Dancers. Oh STOP WITH THE LAUGHING. I suppose you had to be there.

This was Heavy D's time. Oh, wait--Bobby Brown (Mr. Whitney Houston?) was famous for almost 35 seconds too.

I think what it had going for it more than anything was the programmed 'friendly' look suit-wearing record executives in offices liked. You could play it on the radio. The videos were cheap and could air on MTV and VH1 but mostly BET back when all three networks, believe it or not, mostly played music videos.

And then? Lo and behold, the Top 40/100/200 listing criteria changed from the whims of a few select radio programmers, hearsay from certain record shops and What People Were Told They Liked to the harsh reality of What People Actually Spent Money to Buy. Once that happened? Everything changed. To everyone's shock, radio-friendly MC Hammer's (yes, that guy) album debuted in 3^rd place...behind Ice Cube (remember back when he was angry?) and GARTH BROOKS. Everybody went 'what-the-effing-EFF?~!?!?' Garth Brooks included.

Cube's iconoclastic album Death Certificate--with NO radio airplay and track names that could only half-printed on the label--pounded the nails in this genre's coffin as only he could do it...

This ain't Hip-Hop, cuz that sucks
And you can New Jack Swiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing on my....

But it was a good time while it lasted.

I miss Heavy already.