(no subject)

ValleySUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

First question: What amusement park in their RIGHT mind announces their new rides on 9/11?



Oh yay. Huge waterpark expansion! When a park with seven slides total gets six more, that's huge! Right? Right....?





Until you look closer. Then you realize that four of those six are the of the same type (trapdoor drop slides, all the rage of the moment) to which they added TWO MORE SPEED SLIDES. What the--who the--WHY?!?!? More precisely, why do our drop slides need a side of extra drop slides? I hope no one tries to explain the 'logic' behind this. Frankly, trapdoor slides are a bit much. Parks that draw two to three times Valleyfair's annual attendance have only been given three. Point is, there's room on the tower structure for something else besides more of the same.

Besides, the 'taller' and 'faster' the ride, the smaller the potential audience. There's never a long line for the two speed slides the park already had. So why did we need extras? Of course, this MIGHT make sense if they clomped over their existing speed slides for something better. Which they aren't doing.

OH THERE'S A NEW KIDDIE AREA TOO.



You might expect it to look like, say, the multi-level beauties you'd see in Wisconsin Dells. Or even this one from a sister park with a metro area slightly smaller than ours.

NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWP.



We get a splashy sidewalk and maybe MAYBE a single level thingie with backyard-sized slides. Talk about treating us like we suck. No, like our KIDS suck. Screw YOU, Valleyfair.