Kids, Don't Try This At Home

4K Television: The Jerk-Maker

'Tis true. All it takes is a 4K telly to turn regular folks into completely oblivious dicks.

Brenda got herself one o' those with our tax money. Yeah, I'm gonna call it hers. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! She picked it out almost a year ago, kept an eye on it while the price dropped, caught it on a week it was on sale, drove an additional hard bargain and screwed the store out of a 4K Bluray player at half-price. She's a BEAST. All I did was point her in the right direction and duck behind her skirts. Figuratively speaking. Where was I? Oh right! Dick Story.

So she was watching Bachelor while partaking of the sanctioned 'Bachelor-Watching-Chocolate-Eating-Club' Chocolate of the week (it was an Air-Off between an Aero bar and a sad Hersheys imitator) on Her Other Television...? Okay, see that telly was My Idea. BUT the couch it sits by is 3000 Percent Hers (not kidding, she custom-ordered that bugger) and she's utterly commandeered both that telly and DVR. Her Other Television, right? OKAY so she runs downstairs to the family room where I'm sitting in front of Her Big New TV and she was all

B: I can't believe he gave the final rose to--
Me: I DON'T CARE!
B: *gasp*
Me: *won't even turn to look away* don't care.
B: Sorry *goes back upstairs*

I can't believe I snapped like that. She can't either. Who of you doesn't know I give zero (bleep)s about the fracking Bachelor? And never have? But for some reason I was all SILENCE! Batman's getting his ass kicked (again for the 9398724923749^th time) AND I MUSTN'T MISS A NUANCED MOMENT! Dunno what to tell ya. Always humored her as long as possible, year after year 'till the day she stepped in my damn soundfield an shit. Wasn't even a Dolby Atmos soundfield. For that matter, it wasn't even a 4K disc. Of which we have only one.

B was so gobsmacked, she even apologized this morning. Musta felt well if it means that much to him DAYUM! I feel like a half-dozen d-bags about my behavior buuuUUUUUT perhaps I shouldn't say anything unless I can say it while bathing in the heavenly glow of HDR. Consistency's really important in a marriage, right.......????