(no subject)

'MUR-ka!

SO yesterday afternoon some Human Piece Of Dog Shit (to put it nicely) drove up behind me in a rusty-ass garbage Chevy pickup, with a giant Stars and Stripes flapping on the left side, the Confederate flag on the other. Probably looking for a parade to crash. Thought about flipping them the bird from my panoramic sunroof--then I realized my vehicle was probably worth four times that POS they had. Oh, AND then there's the whole going-home-and-having-sex-with-a-white-woman thing. What's the point of waving a flag? I'm their living, breathing nightmare sitting on perforated leather. And a buttfan.








We've done mostly nothing this weekend--and it was fabulous. Of course, 'lazy weekend' in my book means 'ran no more than four miles daily,' so we'll keep that in context. Slept eight hours every night, even if I was up late the night before. Tried converting one of my desktops to Windows 10; finding (and struggling to configure) good DVR software that records telly with more than copy-always DRM rights is SUPER-problematic. Which I have to do, since Media Center no longer exists in Windows 10.


And then there's the changing face of South 'Burbs retail. Apparently, they think we're where all the money is. They're cramming two new massive HyVees in the area (Lakeville and the E) right near all the other strip malls fulla Big Box Retailers. Serves us right. Fill your empty souls, ya no-ass-havin, Beige Box Living Mutha--where was I again?

Anyway, B was in love with Fresh Thyme (opened last month) but could suddenly find parking once the HyVee opened during our travels. The Missus had to find out why. It was mostly this.









In addition to a gas station, car wash and vast selection of all kindsa shit you don't need (seriously, they stock Aero bars! AERO. BARS. In the L!) there's a full-service restaurant on premises. Kinda sorta, anyway.










We had the "buffet." Which is in double quotes for a very good reason. It's not a buffet at all. Instead, they send you dashing out to the store's massive 400 foot long deli wall with a plate, where you select anything but sushi and the 'chef's selection' area. Then you come back and eat. I'ma tell you what--that's some weeeeiird shit. People look at you funny. At least 'till you explain it and they slap their $12 single selection across their own foreheads, shrieking WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS EXISTED?!!?!?!?









I nearly had to dive across the counter to convince Mister Deli to give a smidgeon of this and a taste of that, cuz for Fuck's Sake, Larger Portions do NOT equal Better. Just wanna sample stuff. Really!









Only as we were leaving did we realize the true and flawless Majesty of HyVees evil. Where else can you visit the grocery during 'happy hour,' get fucked up for cheap and work off your stumbles while pushing a cart? Brilliant move, HyVee. Brilliant.

More later.