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See THAT ValleyFair? Told Cha So.
Oct. 30th, 2017 10:53 pmThis year's Halloween Haunt was the slowest, quietest and softest we've seen in a very, very, VERY long time. Haven't seen the park that empty for Halloween since they started the event and no one knew it existed. AND Da Babies were actually freaked-out, terrified babies about it.
PS - You're welcome Missy. PPS - Keep your eyes on Midget's eyebrows PPPS - One of you will likely be Viewer Number 10,000...congrats in advance
Where was I? OH YES so it started off a good thing and became Insanely Good by oh mebbe 2010? 2011? and then they got Cedar Fair Greedy™ with it. They became obsessed with squeezing every penny and percentage point of profit from it--at the expense of the product. They replaced a 12-person live fire show with a DeeJay spinning edited tunes. Removed every meat product from the all-you-can-eat buffet and shortened its duration to an hour-and-a-half. Performer's bonuses for referring friends as employees went strangely missing. They replaced one maze with some Awkward Sort of Show Thing (drastically reducing headcount, but entertainment even more so) and another became infested with U of M drama students. They were/remain HORRIBLE, but all the salaries were replaced with college credits. And souls, arguably. Placing their Broadway/Serious Acting Dreams on hold to slap walls and go MUUAAHAAHAH!!!! now and then. Now THAT'S a real-life education. Get used to that shit, kids. ACTING!
OH and then they added a twirly ride last year, a twirly-ride-on-a-tall-pole this year and next year? A frigging Carny Ring of Fire. Actual Real Life Carnies will NOT show up at the Minnesota State Fair with a Ring of Fire. We're not interested! Show up with a Zamperla Air Race, we'll line up like lemmings, money in hand. Which is why they keep bringing it back. Earth to Cedar Fair: Minnesotans like going upside-down. Yes, they DO.
So this year, Halloween attendance took a massive drop. In theory? All their happy season passholders rush to buy their passes for next summer, bring their friends and they buy passes too. In reality? For the past four-five years, their New Ride Announcements get FB/Twitter/Instagram comments of '(Bleep) that, I'm not renewing my pass' until this year. When apparently, it really happened.
Out went the $20 College Night flyers. Out went the Free Friend tickets for season passholders AND Free Fastlane line-jumping passes (they've never offered both at once). Last weekend? Online tickets were literally $34 off. They also pestered their mailing list with 'Are you renewing your pass?' surveys but honestly, what's there to ask? They haven't added a coaster of any type in eleven years. They haven't added a looping coaster in THIRTY-SEVEN. And as anyone who cares for a looping coaster will tell you, a Ring of Fire is not a looping coaster. Our 33 year-old 'Looping Starship' delivers a bigger thrill. *headslap* Oh Hell No. They're going to remove it, aren't they...?
Anyway, perhaps we've FINALLY gained their attention by going elsewhere.
Or not. We'll see.
PS - You're welcome Missy. PPS - Keep your eyes on Midget's eyebrows PPPS - One of you will likely be Viewer Number 10,000...congrats in advance
Where was I? OH YES so it started off a good thing and became Insanely Good by oh mebbe 2010? 2011? and then they got Cedar Fair Greedy™ with it. They became obsessed with squeezing every penny and percentage point of profit from it--at the expense of the product. They replaced a 12-person live fire show with a DeeJay spinning edited tunes. Removed every meat product from the all-you-can-eat buffet and shortened its duration to an hour-and-a-half. Performer's bonuses for referring friends as employees went strangely missing. They replaced one maze with some Awkward Sort of Show Thing (drastically reducing headcount, but entertainment even more so) and another became infested with U of M drama students. They were/remain HORRIBLE, but all the salaries were replaced with college credits. And souls, arguably. Placing their Broadway/Serious Acting Dreams on hold to slap walls and go MUUAAHAAHAH!!!! now and then. Now THAT'S a real-life education. Get used to that shit, kids. ACTING!
OH and then they added a twirly ride last year, a twirly-ride-on-a-tall-pole this year and next year? A frigging Carny Ring of Fire. Actual Real Life Carnies will NOT show up at the Minnesota State Fair with a Ring of Fire. We're not interested! Show up with a Zamperla Air Race, we'll line up like lemmings, money in hand. Which is why they keep bringing it back. Earth to Cedar Fair: Minnesotans like going upside-down. Yes, they DO.
So this year, Halloween attendance took a massive drop. In theory? All their happy season passholders rush to buy their passes for next summer, bring their friends and they buy passes too. In reality? For the past four-five years, their New Ride Announcements get FB/Twitter/Instagram comments of '(Bleep) that, I'm not renewing my pass' until this year. When apparently, it really happened.
Out went the $20 College Night flyers. Out went the Free Friend tickets for season passholders AND Free Fastlane line-jumping passes (they've never offered both at once). Last weekend? Online tickets were literally $34 off. They also pestered their mailing list with 'Are you renewing your pass?' surveys but honestly, what's there to ask? They haven't added a coaster of any type in eleven years. They haven't added a looping coaster in THIRTY-SEVEN. And as anyone who cares for a looping coaster will tell you, a Ring of Fire is not a looping coaster. Our 33 year-old 'Looping Starship' delivers a bigger thrill. *headslap* Oh Hell No. They're going to remove it, aren't they...?
Anyway, perhaps we've FINALLY gained their attention by going elsewhere.
Or not. We'll see.
