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It's gonna be another warm weekend; might as well get this off my chest. Two weeks ago, I tried to kill a bit of time at Valleyfair (between my two paid meals, while my favorite slide wasn't open) reclining in a Waterpark chair under the shade.
Minnesota, of course, is where they murdered George Floyd in the street. And shot Philando Castile before that. And Jamar Clark before that. And let's not bring up the ones AFTER that. Point is, murderous racist Minnesotans didn't materialize in a vacuum. They're everywhere.
When I walk around in a Minnesotan public area--minding my black-ass business--the ratio may vary a bit. In the right places, maybe one in eight. In the not-so-right, as many as one in four. Of what? White folk who find my very existence disturbing. And since I'm not amongst a group of Five Other Black Dudes and have a friendly enough face, cowardly Minnesota racists feel safe and comfortable showering me with indignities.
Dirty looks. Staring and staring for eye contact, so they're sure I'm watching them clutch their purse. Snatching their children away. I suppose you could liken it to tinnitus--a constant background noise, that you must consciously drown out.
The purse-clutching and thing-snatching comes from somewhere. You see, there's no White Supremacy if their isn't something to take away from us. Whites have to have something Black People want, or it doesn't work.
I'd play for a while and come sit down and suddenly, folks would run to grab their phones. I've literally broken better phones than they're 'rescuing' (not that I'm proud, that S21 was just out of warranty) or better phones I don't use as phones at all (a pair of iPhone SE '20) but the indigity of the Poor Black Thief remains. It's not pleasant.
Or the Oakley-compatible wearing White Dad who already bought a bump stock glaring like I'ma somehow rape his whole family tree, in front of everybody.
When you're going thru what I'm already facing, sometimes the background noise--the never-ending shrill that I'm Less Than and Inferior--gets to be a bit much
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Date: 2022-06-10 04:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-10 10:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-06-10 02:48 pm (UTC)And the crap some of them say — out loud. oh my! I am sorry you have to deal with that on a daily basis.
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Date: 2022-06-10 02:58 pm (UTC)And LOOK at you. You're this tiny, graceful, clearly and obviously kind and intelligent woman.
(They already know you're SMARTER than them, and it pisses them off)