newlifeinstpaul | Why 'Latergrams' Are So Damned Annoying

Cuz you can't interact with the Person where You Think They Are. While you're typing 'HEY BOB you're at the mall, right? I'm parking right now' they're all 'Naw, man--that was Tuesday.' And then you're all 'Where You At NOW then?' and they're all 'Ooh, gotta go catch my plane' and hang up. Haven't told you where they are or where they're headed.

Probably two-thirds (if not three-quarters) of the time I post of my feelings, they're Latergrams. Oh, there are some where I'm Most Certainly NOT doing that. But with many to most, I am.

And yeah--I'm going through some shit right now. It can't be pleasant to read, but it's much less fun to live. HOWEVER, Context is Everything, so here's a bit of it:

— My Awful Household Prison is nicer than 80% of homes in America, in the #32 city in America to live (per Money magazine). Is the house or the town my fave? Ever felt like home? Well, no buUUUUuuuut

— After work and on weekends, I slither off to work out and relax at a fancy ass gym. The weekend gym has an outdoor pool with a concierge and a live DJ. A. Live. Fucking. Deejay.

— My angry workouts at said gym have resulted in the lowest weight I've seen this century. The last time I've weighed this little, Michael Jackson was still hot shit

So why would I Latergram? Research. Study. To capture my feelings as a moth to a board, to study them for weaknesses--or see what I can learn. Many of my worst feelings emanate years before my marriage to G-Zilla to unresolved pains of my past. It's a four-dimensional puzzle with certain pieces that stretch before kindergarten. The more I can comprehend the Whens and Whys, the easier it becomes to reconstruct the same pieces into something else.

Not that it's all whitecoat work with microscopes. There's still plenty of raw emotions and severed arteries and blood Monty Python spurting about and Past and Present Selves--some headless--running about screaming and kicking things.

From now on, I'll Grant You, the Reader, permission to peek.

When I post, one of you can ask me, 'Is this Now, or Are you LaterGramming?'

I'm not gonna answer that 348385 times, so

Perhaps I've moved on, but it's for a 'future' post (some of which I may actually type). Perhaps there isn't a fully formulated answer for my troubles. Might still be working on it. So I'll only answer Yes or No. Neither of which guarantees I'm out of peril--either the posted crisis or something new.

But, for what it's worth