(no subject)
Aug. 16th, 2016 02:57 pm
It's OVAH
B's birthday weekend ended late last night. I'd like to think I've acquitted myself well. Just glad it's done.
The headline gift was more a gift to myself than her. I used this time as an excuse to shove a Real Phone down her throat. But seriously tho! Her old AT&T S3 would practically lock up every time I'd start to text. Oh OH and did I mention she started keeping hair ties around it....so the back wouldn't pop off on hot days? Even I didn't know that was going on 'till Friday. But when I learned? Reassured me I was doing the right thing.

Little brains, meet big brains. Oh, wait. Faster brains. With more RAM.
Of course, there was a wireless rapid charger and a new 128GB chip and a Lifeproof case involved, too. All on Amazon-price-match-at Best Buy rates. The cashiers barely bother scanning their prices any more. If Cheapy McBlackerson's there, he's got the Amazon pages of his purchases already loaded on Chrome. Yup!
And B was all I dun need that much phone too expensive bluh bluh bluh butcha know what? I love my S7. If I gave her a phone that wasn't as good as mine? That would make me a total dick. And what if her $200 phone started gagging on apps or locking up or she could clearly see her photos weren't as good as mine? Who's gotta hear about THAT shit 'till the phone starts to disintegrate, four years in the future? ME. So (bleep) that. If I get one, she gets one. Family PEACE baby. I'm no idiot. Okay fine. At least not for that reason!
Oh WAIT. Then there was the whole move-my-widdle-icons-where-I-want-them-on-my-home screen exercise.
B: Put it there.
Me: Okay.
B: No, right THERE.
Me: Fine!
B: That's too small! Make it a bigger size!
Me: Okay how 'bout--
B: You're DEWIN it wrong! *points to screen* You're supposed to
Me: Here.
B: *Hand drops back, whole flippin' arm practically falls off her body and clatters on the floor*
Me: You seem to know how to--
B: NooOOOOOOoooo.
Me: *eyebrow crooky*
B: It's a NEW PHONE.
Me: ....
B: You're sposeda show me.
Me: Ooooookay.
B: STOP! NO! Don't put that one over THERE!
Me: *Opens deck door, punts B's phone into neighbor's yard*
Okay, I lied about that last thing. But I thought about it.
I told you that to tell you this.