Chicken Wing: A short, short tale of male insecurity

[newlifeinstpaul]

Exterior: A deli in South Minneapolis

Po' Brotha: (opening door): Ay! Ay! Sup, G?
Owner: How you doing tonight, sir?
Po': You ain't cookin' no mo?
Owner: It's almost closing time! I'm going home!
Po': Aw, c'mon man!
Owner: Ali's still here. He'll do it, k?
Po': Aiiiight, Aiiight.
Ali: What can I get you, sir?
Po': Lemme get what, fo' wings? Right, bay?
Bay (AKA Po' Brotha's girlfriend): Sure.
Ali: You have to order 12 to get the 50 cent a wing price.
Po': TWELVE?
Ali: Yeah. Says so on the sign.
Po': Aw, c'mon man. Twelve?
Ali: Otherwise they're 79 cents a wing, sir.
Po': C'mowwwwwn man. Can't you give a brotha a break?
Preppy Black Guy: (looks up from menu) Tell you what...
Ali and Po': Huh?
Prep: I was just about to order--what, 12 wings? 14 maybe?
Po': Yeah?
Prep: So how bout I order 18 and you can box up four of those for him?
Po': Thanks, man.
Prep: Oh, yeah. Not a problem. Makes sense, doesn't it?
Po': *hands Prep two dollars*
Prep: Thanks. Say, can I get a copy of Insight?
Bay: Here.
Prep: Thanks!
Po': Ali! Y'all take EBT?
Prep: (thinking) Po's got a SERIOUS good-lookin' girl.
Ali: Yeah, I'll take your food stamp card all right. Just gimme your PIN number.
Prep: I don't get it. Every broke brotha has a girlfriend, a BabyMomma and one on the side.
Po': But then I get to eat here every day!
Prep: Meanwhile, here I am. Decent job, caring for my kids, still alone.
Ali: Then you betta have a whooole lotta credit on your EBT card! (laughs)
Prep: What's so wrong with a guy like me? I'm not rough-cut enough? Boring? What?
Po': (laughs too) Jus' see me on the first of the month, G.
Prep: What's the point of working so hard? Really? I'm still up to my eyes in debt.
Po': But seriously Ali...you hirin'?
Prep: Nothing in this world is worth having without someone to share it with.
Ali: You know how to fix gyros? Fry wings?
Prep: I've tried twice. Leaving home to live here, then leaving a bad relationship.
Po': I'm watching you do it! But seriously, I can learn.
Prep: Meanwhile, this guy has all that actually matters. (glances at Po's Girl)
Po's Girl: (caught looking at Prep, quickly looks down)
Po': (catches the glances back and forth, a little surprised)
Ali: Not right now, but you can always check us later...ya know?
Po': Bay, lemme get one of those papers too.
Bay: Here you go.
Po': They free, right?
Prep: Oh, yeah. They are.
Po': Check out this dude. Dressed in his colors and shit. Six Flags Denver shirt...probably travels.
Prep: Big Baggy Shorts, loose tee-shirt. See, he can pull that off. I'd look silly in it.
Po': All in shape an' shit. I know I've been tryin' to lose this weight.
Prep: The good stuff only comes in XXL. I'd look like I was wearing my Dad's clothes.
Po': Probably works all up in some office, making big money.
Prep: When he catches the bus, I bet she leans on his shoulder when they sit down.
Both: My life sucks. I wish it was more like HIS.

Comments

[nefret.livejournal.com]

that was brilliant.

just thought you should know.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Neffie.
You don't know how much it means to me right now to hear that I can write.

[rachelk121.livejournal.com]

its more than being able to write... its being able to make people laugh

[rachelk121.livejournal.com]

so true...

the grass is always greener

and thanks for making me not feel guilty about staying home again today :)

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Go ahead, let their lil' brains rot.
See if I care.

:-P

[rachelk121.livejournal.com]

well its either that or leave them unattended while i'm running to the bathroom every 10 seconds

besides, the stuff they put in their bodies does a good job of letting their brains rot out

[eatsoylentgreen.livejournal.com]

wow, that was moving. And I'm a random browser.

[cplady.livejournal.com]

Newlife, I've said it before, I'll say it again. You really should consider writing for real. That piece above speaks volumes.

[mage-girl.livejournal.com]

This was absfragginlutely brilliant!

the syntax and everything...i could just hear this conversation in my head.

way to go!

and the ending...that was the clincher. damn good stuff.

write more i say more! :)

[minkrose]

very interesting. I like it. well done.