Gaaaarrrgh.

[newlifeinstpaul]

Attack Midget? CHEW UP SEARS.

I have to tell you why I hate 'em, but to do so I have to make a horrifying confession.

I killed yet another camera.

This may shock almost three of you...but yes, I did it again.

To be perfectly honest, I've been taking attempts on that camera's life for a while. Not so much in destructive terms like its predecessors. Nope! Okay, there WAS that Niagara Falls closeup-tour thingy without a waterproof cover, but I wasn't trying to hurt it. In fact, it never even suffered a decent 6' drop to the floor or one of my legendary drops in the commode. But I did kinda want to replace it due to its minimal low light performance.

One small majorly huge problem. It was a gift. From Brenda. A CHRISTMAS GIFT. So yeah.

I tried to gently introduce a 'spare' camera for our honeymoon, but it kinda sucked too. It couldn't really pull off ISO 1600 and overall time between exposures wasn't all that great and by then, even Brenda wanted a camera with better performance. But significantly better, not just hypothetically. So the 'spare' went back to the store.

But the carrying case that survived every camera in the camera graveyard began to betray me. The snap to my belt-strap started coming loose at the most inopportune moments during the honeymoon until eventually, one fine day at Valleyfair back home:

B: Hey, get a snapshot of that magician guy.
Me: Okay *grabs phone*
B: Huh?
Me: Waitaminnit.
B: Yeah?
Me: Why am I shooting a picture with my cell phone camera...when we brought the real cam?
B: *looks down at my waist, where it...*
Me: *...used to be...*
Both: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Which brings me to why Sears Must Die.

Once upon a time, Sears became America's largest retailer through a combination of retail outlets and catalog mail order. Apparently, each and every individual who used to work in the catalog division has either retired, quit, been fired or eaten by other employees.

Here's an example of how well they work these days:

Brenda ordered a teapot for a recently married friend who lives in Italy. After placing an order thru Sears' website, she got an email that the item was no longer in stock and her card would be credited. She was bummed. Her card was handled as they said they would. A few weeks later? Her friend got the teapot anyway. Weird, huh?

So needless to say, we were wary of Sears...only we needed a camera before my half-marathon, nobody had what we wanted in stock and somebody gave us an American Sears gift card. We found a camera we liked that would only cost $20 more than the card. Mind you, the same product was readily available from Amazon.com and a half-dozen other online businesses, but of course, we had the card. So we ordered it online with rush delivery for extra bucks. For the sake of convenience, we also ordered a Micro SD chip. The chip wasn't much cheaper than anywhere else, but why not have it all in one place?

Last night, Sears sent Brenda an email. The camera order had been canceled. CANCELED! Not backordered or delayed or anything like that. They just said Nope, you cain't have it. But your chip? Oh, yeah. We shipped THAT. And charged your credit card. Not our gift card. For all kindsa extra 'freight and handling' charges for a chip smaller than my pinkie toenail.

The only reason Brenda hasn't gone abso-frickin-nuts just yet is the outside chance they've tried to screw us, only to screw themselves again.

We'll see. We'll soon see.
But until we do?

There's goofing up, screwing up, totally (bleep)ing up beyond all recognition and five notches past that? There's all Searsed up.

The end.

Comments

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

OK but please wait until Sears the Client isn't paying me for fourth quarter work. And enjoy the November and December sales ads, cause I'm proofreading them! :)

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Well any of them for an Olympus FE46 camera are LIES.
LIEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!

Beautifully punctuated lies, mind you, but still.

[san-simeon-girl.livejournal.com]

Proofing ads? How do you get that work?

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

I got this job through a creative agency called Aquent.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Did you proof the Black Friday circular that's already floating around the Internets?

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

Yup, but I'm not the one who leaked it, I promise!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

No, it wasn't you weren't.
Matter of fact, they called it a 'release' not a 'leak' (like Office Max's).

I want an autographed copy! :-D

[lilrongal.livejournal.com]

Wait, where is it? Maybe it's not even the same one. I didn't even know it had leaked!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

It's on BlackFriday dot com or net or something.