Secrets of the Baux

(Cuz that's how Canadians say it)

Now that I've left you on the hook about TODAY'S nonsense, I feel perfectly okay concluding Brenda's B-day story :-P

Actually, I simply don't wanna type about that now; merely thinking about it makes me feel tired.
So let's do this instead.

I pondered and I wondered and I followed that with a little actual thinking and right about then, realized it's not the budget that counts; it's the thought. So I got in my car and reached in my pocket and pulled out some spare change and picked up one of THESE.

It was a MINION. B's been absolutely obsessed with Despicable Me.
Take a look at the giggleface and how she's clutching it!

Yeah, I saw it at the theater and it was aaaiiiiight, but I'd already seen MegaMind and IMHO that was a wayyyyyyyyyyyyy better 'villain' movie. However, I wasn't shopping for my birthday, right? Besides, whenever we'd pass game stalls where they hung as prizes, she'd gawk at them. Just a bit too long.

Which means I have to tell you how I got one....

I slipped out to the park on one of my days off--planning to bag that special B-Day gift-- to find, horror of horrors, they were GONE. What the--where'd they go? We hadn't been there in a couple weeks (we'd been to Kansas City the weekend before) but back then, they had plenty.

Me: No more minions? No more minions?
Game Booth Girl: Sorry, we're all out.
Me: You don't have any under the counter or NUFFIN?
(NOTE: You're almost never handed a 'hanging' prize when you win. I know where they hide 'em)
GBG: No, sorry.
Me: *wild eyed and crazy* Can I find 'em anywhere else????????
GBG: I think there's one more place...

Five minutes later
at that One Other Spot
AKA a Whack-a-Mole booth

Me: *to self* I coulda walked 400 feet from the gate to get here...
Other GameBooth Girl: *looks about with general disinterest*
Me: ..instead of running halfway through the park.
OGG: *looking about for imaginary throngs of people, fingers itching to play*
Me: *still the only person there*
OGG: *stares even harder at floor*
Me: EXCUSE ME.
OGG: Hrrmmph?
Me: Do you have any larger minions?
OGG: No, but the Water Gun stall over--
Me: No they don't, they sent me here.
OGG: *mumbled something that vaguely resembled 'oh' which, when properly translated, actually meant kindly suck my dragging dirty shoelace*
Me: So three people have to play to win a medium prize, right?
OGG: Mmmmhm.
Me: Or two people can play for a small prize twice and trade up to a medium, correct?
OGG: *mumble-nod*
Me: Listen, I really wanna get one of those for my wife's birthday.
OGG: *blank gaze*
Me: She's been staring at them all summer.
OGG: *empty shrug*
Me: Can I pay for three people and play against my two invisible friends?
OGG: No.
Me: Okayyyyyy.....How 'bout I play two rounds, battling my right hand against my left?
OGG: No.
Me: The park gets the same amount of money and I get my prize. Everybody's happy!
OGG: *mustering a heretofore unseen amount ot energy* This is a COMPETITIVE game. *back to coma*
Me: But there's no one here to compete with.
OGG: You need to wait, then.
Me: *squints down Games Area Midway*
Games Area Midway: *Random bale of tumbleweed rolls, not quite 500 feet in the distance*
Me: You've gotta be kidding me.
OGG: *folds arms defiantly, with all the authority $7.40 an hour grants anybody*
Random family of eight in distance: Hum de dum dum bumbly bum.....
Me: I'll be RIGHT BACK.

Two minutes after that

Dad: So whadda we do now?
Lil Bubba: Huuuuuh?
Me: MomLady? *gestures to her family*
ML: He wants to git HIS WAHHHHF a DOLLY fer hurr BERFDAY.
LB: *blink blink*
ML: He needs THREE PEOPLE to PLAY.
Dad: So we're sposed to just....stand here with the mallets?
ML: YES. Jes for a minnit.
Me: *hands money for everyone to OGG*
ML: Awww thass so SWEEEEEEEEEET.
Dad: We just stand here tho?
OGG: No, you PLAY for the prize.
Me: Say wha---
ML: YOU LET HIM WIN.
Me: *grins at OGG*
LB: She sed we cin play!
ML: MAKE. SURE. HE. WINS. (which when translated, really meant 'Or I smack the snot out of you')
Me: *to self* Which is why I explained myself to exactly ONE person.

To tell the truth? I had 150 points to Lil Bubba's 140. I don't think he got the frickin' memo.
Dad Person mighta been slightly dim--honestly, how else do you explain Bubba--but he sure as (bleep) knew that tone of voice.
My man FROZE, mallet high in hand, probably thinking Thanks a LOT dude, now I've gotta win her one of these things too.
And if he knew what's good for him, I'm sure he did. Sometime later.

Two weeks later, we went to the same booth with a somewhat less demented employee.

Me: can B and I play two rounds all by ourselves for another minion?
Normal Girl: Of course!

Why can't everyone have a brain?
C'mon, really? It's not that hard, is it?

Oh that's right. I might have bought her the movie too.

When she watched it? She snatched the minions from their perch in the guest bedroom and plunked them on the couch to watch beside her. I swear to you, she wasn't doing that (bleep) with her toys when she was in grade school. I think I did good this year!