(no subject)

[newlifeinstpaul]

How The 'Dub Grinch Stole Christmas

Cuz I sure as hell did. I feel equal parts elated and guilty.

B absolutely DESPISES my heavy winter coat. If she were given an opportunity to set it ablaze with me still in it...? She'd have to think it over.

I'd long been thinking about buying a Columbia or Eddie Bauer 3-in-1. Some people would lump North Face in the same category, but sorry I can't. Too many snotty (bleep)heads 'round town wear 'em. Can't do it.

ANYWAY weekend-before-last I was browing the Columbia shop at the mall. What mall? You're kidding, right? 'Mall' from my lips (keyboard?) is always Mall of America by default. Where was I? Oh right! Came across this one.



Try to ignore my douchey expression k? I'm trying to face the camera.

I liked it, but I had my reservations. The lining wasn't removable and the price was kinda stiff.

But Friday I was at the Mall again, trying to relax after a half-day of OT when out-of-the-BLUE B's all I'm done with work you're at the Mall aren't you AREN'T YOU I'ma run up on yo black ass and I was Aw SHIT and lied to her about where I was in the building so I could dash a couple Christmas items into my trunk. THEN she was all I wanna ride my favorite ride and screw your dinner you put in the slow cooker this morning and WHATCHA DOIN WHATCHA DURRRRRRRRRRRRN so I innocently took her to the Columbia store while we were there.

Apparently, men in Columbia jackets get Canadian women all kindsa sloppy. If I knew it was that easy back in the day...?

B: GIT IT.
Me: But it's not interchangeabl--
B: GIT IT.
Me: Are you sure we don't wanna go to the outlet mall up north to compare prices?
B: GIT. IT. NOWWWWWW.
Me: Okay!
B: *heavy breathing persists*
Me: I just thought that--
B: GIT BOMBER HAT.
Me: What?
B: FURRY. LOOK LIKE LUMBERJACK.
Me: Listen, honey. I love you very much--
B: TRY ON!!!!!
Me: --but um, Fuck No.

Then came the Sunday paper and all the Green Monday sales and uhhhh..

Me: Would you be really mad if I asked you if I could buy another coat?
B: What?!?!?!?!?
Me: Yeah.
B: You're NOT taking that coat back.
Me: Newp. Wouldn't be. I'd be buying another--
B: WOOOOOOTT?!?!?!?!?
Me: I'd replace the beige one!
B: Hoo?
Me: The one you wanna rip off my back and toss in a wood chipper??
B: Hmmm!

So this happened.



More specifically, this happened too. And a hat. And gloves.

Which I told you to ask you this: How is B gonna have a good Christmas with me now that I've pretty much upstaged everything with items I've picked out for myself?

Oh OH And and?!?!?!?!?

I was texted a random photo of a purse without any explanation. It's a Fossil bag. I'm refusing to buy it for her. But that's another story...

Comments

[malterre.livejournal.com]

I like the one with the furry hood better!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

After learning at the teensy feet of my London-based fashionista goddess (who also taught me everything I know 'bout purses) I've become a real sucker for slash pockets on men's coats.

But but BUT that coat's only good for Super Cold. Not the weather we're having now. The second one's configurable for everything from 40 degrees (shell only) to Almost Really Cold. Of course, I could also upgrade the lining to a heavier down than the first coat, if I wanted.

I'ma tell you what tho. The little Asian lady cashier where I bought the second one? Was plenty fine with that one. Perhaps a little too fine. I kinda wondered if she was providing top-notch customer service, was merely bored out of her freaking mind (it was Sunday night at a retailer in peak season!) or making a small (bleep) Bank deposit. I'll never know.

[pen-grunt.livejournal.com]

Daaaang, those are both some good looking coats. APPROVE!

[sakkebomb.livejournal.com]

I like both a ton! Great finds :)

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

You could probably wear the second one when it's 70 degrees out :PPPPP

Seriously, I was boarding the drop tower at Busch Gardens and a girl sat next to me with a jacket almost that heavy. While I was wearing shorts and sandals. I was all WHAT ARE YOU WEARING and she was all I'm from Florida--shrug, shrug.

[silviarambles]

Love them both! And you look great in both!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And thanks even more for your voice post--cuz now I can hear you saying this to me in my head :)

[rawrin.livejournal.com]

Nice looking coats!

[one-raido.livejournal.com]

Did you get the bomber hat?

Both jackets are great! I know exactly what you mean by North Face. I have one of those red fleece ones that I see everywhere which KJ now wears.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

My last cold weather coat was a Red Tommy Hilfiger I caught for only $40 at a Daytons clearance sale (back when it was Dayton's and still in DT St. Paul). It was very good quality and a steal BUT I looked like The Guy That Matches The Police's Description.

Only that was then and now the red's got some fabulous black stains that won't come out. I've only worn it when the alternative was to Die of Frostbite.

[one-raido.livejournal.com]

LOL

[gansje.livejournal.com]

I'm perilously close to buying both of these for L now. LOVE them.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Since you don't live in the same state I do, meaning I won't have to girl-fight your husband should I see him...

The 3-in-1 is on sale 'till Thursday at Kohl's for only $120 with the 20% off coupon they toss around like candy. Much tougher to find discounts off list with the TurboDown 550.

[ragnarok-08.livejournal.com]

Those coats look great, and I think that the second one would be better :)

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Except I bought them both. The first one's for Super Cold Times, the 3-in-1 is for anything warmer.
Which is why I'm saying I pretty much sunk Xmas for the Missus. I've already bought the good stuffs.

While negotiating for coat #2

B: I've never seen a man need SO. Many. COATS.
Me: I'm a high-maintenance diva?

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

The second one would need a hat...

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

You can't see the hood in that narrow mirror. But I got a hat anyway!

[lesli.livejournal.com]

The first jacket looks warmer but I'm a sucker for Columbia. The former face of Columbia, Gert Boyle was a real character and was always in the news in Portland OR where I was raised.

Merry Christmas!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Merry Christmas to you, too!
Just so happens, tho...? They're both Columbia. And I talked B into letting me get both XD

[cherrytattoo77.livejournal.com]

See that's when I would have confiscated all of it & wrapped it up, and stuck it unner the tree & made you wait till Christmas.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

You don't understand how much she hates the beige jacket and red down coat I replaced.
The immediate change was for HER, not me :P