(no subject)

Nerds in Need Are Turds, Indeed

Brenda is The One. And that's that.

There has never been an adult on this Earth I've ever been more comfortable being My True Self around. Which is a very good thing. Cuz My True Self's got some ISSUES like a mutha--wait, that's another topic.

However, she's Canadian. I'm from the D. She's 32. I'm 48. She's white. I'm black. Episode IV was released when I was in grade school; Revenge of The Jedi when I was in high school. She might (maybe?) have first viewed Star Wars with the PREQUELS Emperor Lucas' Racial Stereotype-Laden 70MM Cinematic Skid Marks and THEN gradually and reluctantly back to the Horribly Soiled 'Real' Ones. She's never seen Real Empire Strikes Back. She's never seen HAN SHOOT FIRST.

She can't POSSIBLY understand my BURNING NEED TO

SEE THE STAR WOORS RIGHT THE (BLEEP)ing (BLEEP) NOWWWWWW!!!!1111

(Additional exclamation points in much larger point count and exploding head GIFs go here)

And that's BEFORE you get to the DummyCrat Liberal Politically Correct Overly Inclusive Communist Anti-White Plot to make a Black Man a Hero. Not a sidebar kinda lame one that dies quick like oh, you know ANYBODY in the X-Men movies??? (Except Halle Berry, who you kinda wish WOULD cuz PFFFFFFT your acting woman, it BURNS) And Marvel gives it an honest try, BUT it still comes off all 80s movie Sidekick Black Guy that says Dayummmm and Sheeit and Never Gets Laid and Dies Tragically, Last Day on the Job. But now? Here's a CLEAN SHEET on which to write a REAL story that will Never. Go. Away.

BOOM, Baby.

I should just go 'Fuckit' and buy every CNET cover and store them with my Barack Obama election newspapers and Time magazines an shit cuz DAYUM. But I digress. Only slightly.

B's all We're never going to get in to see it cuz nerdlings are already standing in line and inside I'm thinking That. Should. Be ME (bleep) (bleep)it; I could dress as a character and Fucking LOOK LIKE ONE this time!! so I'm all Well, honey I'd really like to see it opening weekend while inside, of course GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *very long pause to inhale as deeply as I can* GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW CAN I LIVE IN THE SAME TIME ZONE WITH THIS WOMAN wait doesn't get it, can't possibly understand; try to translate your feelings....NOT working GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Anyway, the second-closest theater to me (cuz I'm in the South Burbs, and we're cool like that) is screening The Force Awakens in IMAX 24 hours a day until New Years. Which is a good idea, since there's another IMAX screen only seven miles away and another maybe seven miles away from there. I might have to catch a 10 AM show Friday.

And also

GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!11111