Dec. 27th, 2017
The Real Hero of the Holidays...?
Dec. 27th, 2017 10:22 pm
(This was the first bottle of bourbon in the house since...oh I dunno. Since we had a house. Specifically purchased cuz Mila Kunis is their spokeperson AND donates to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence's name)
Me: Just look at it tho.
B: Whaddaya mean?
Me: The shape of the bottle. The neck!
B: Still not getting you...?
Me: The way it makes you carry it.
B: Huh?
Me: You wind up gripping it and, well? It kinda makes you look like you have problems.
B: ....
Me: Deeply Vexing Issues with Life. An shit.
B: Okayy...
Me: No, LOOK! *grabs bottle, walks across living room, sits back down*
B: ...
Me: *Bitter Old Man Grumble* Those Goldang kids. Nobody SHUTS UP 'round here these days.
B: OHHHHHHH.
Me: I'ma need some murr o' THIS.
B: No you don't! I'm cutting you off!