Best of Summer 2006

[newlifeinstpaul]

We'd chuck ValleyFair
for Worlds of Fun

Reasons 10 - 6

We visited ValleyFair Sunday for the first time since our Worlds of Fun trip. The only thing we could talk about? How we wished we were back.
There's so many reasons I'll only give you the last five here.

10) Patriot



We looooooooooooooves us some B&M steel. Yes we do. Yes we do.
My #1 steelie (Kumba) and LP's (Montu) are both Swiss machines.
Da Midget prefers loops to anything else, but was always too short--'till now.
We rode the absolute living crap outta Patriot.

So why don't Da Babies look so happy?
Oh, don't worry 'bout that. Really! They're having a good time riding!





But Da Midgety One's being extremely annoying.
Big Sister Backslap in 3...2...1...





DAAAAADEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

I tried to get LP excited about our 2007 coaster Saturday. I showed her photo after photo of gorgeous twisty GCI track, the Millennium Flyer trains and it just didn't register. If it wasn't me showing her the photos? And if she were allowed to curse? I don't even wanna know what she'd say.

Honestly. I was walking by the new orange construction fence at our park, pointing out the new spire stakes, the absence of the former employee parking fence and Da Midget snorted, "OooOOOOooooh. Really exciting, Daddy." I tell you the truth. Our next coaster isn't a B&M and they. Are. PISSED.

So why is this reason the last? Cuz we wouldn't chuck our home park over just one coaster. Frankly, we'd chuck it without WOF's B&M. But let's go on.

9) This path. Yes. I kid you not.



Ooooh, it's asphalt! Yeah, that's a better reason than a big-ass coaster, right?
Let me explain. This is the entry path to the park. It makes you feel like you're leaving the world behind you and actually GOING somewhere, not slogging through a parking lot to reach the carnival. Which leads us naturally to #8--cuz while you're walking this path you hear...

8) Music

Not just any music. Very classic theme park music. The type that makes you feel like you're embarking on an adventure or perhaps discovering something.

VF's music selection Just Plain SUCKS. It's nonstop 80s nonsense. Worse than 80s nonsense, it's inoffensive 80s nonsense. Da Babies snort like feh? at the sound of it and frankly, I'm embarrassed to hear it. Mind you, I grew up to it! Doesn't help.

Go to the State Fair and the music is hardcore. Head-smashing rock at 120 decibels, gangsta rap MAYBE sans F-Bombs, strobe lights everywhere, greasy food, freaky carnie types...it's a compelling part of a raw, visceral, downright trippy experience.

Then there's Disney, who's 30,000% family-friendly, overly sanitary with music you couldn't say 'Darn' to. Again, another complete experience. Of course, it's so squeaky clean you wanna run to a restroom to re-wipe--but that's not the point.

Valleyfair's musical choices limp between the two extremes and therefore gets absolutely nowhere. WOF's music fits the park. You might not notice unless you've been somewhere that it doesn't. It feels SO much better.

7) A REAL WATERPARK on the premises
Duh. You don't need to hear me pontificate on that more. Do you?

6) Black people
Not just people who happen to be African-American. Black employees, black guests and not just the typical self-conscious, brash and unbearably LOUD LOUD LOUD FOB Chicago types we seem to get too many of here. Church-going black people. The polite, friendly articulate, self-aware type.

This is why the ex goes out on business and comes back squealing, "That's it. I'm moving to (Atlanta-DC-St-Louis-Fill-in-the-blank)." She's got a point.

5) Theming!

Swingy ship rides are fun.



Swingy ship rides over water reached by a bridge are more fun.
Or take this example. Spinning rollercoasters are also fun.



But spinning rollercoasters with an Asian-themed station in an Asian-themed surroundings with Asian music playing? Better.

I'm not speaking hypothetically here. We have the EXACT SAME COASTER in town. I don't mean the same type or even the same builder. Absolutely and precisely the same thing. Cedar Fair said, "We'll take two of 'em," plunked one in Camp Snoopy at the Mall and the other one here. Da Babies liked this one better.



Theming just...makes ya wanna dance sometimes.

I'll get to the Top Five Real Soon Now.

Comments

[rachelk121.livejournal.com]

the typical self-conscious, brash and unbearably LOUD LOUD LOUD FOB Chicago types

LMAO and so true

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

I forgot to add 'incredibly profane' to the word 'loud.'

[pennycuts.livejournal.com]

I love that first shot.. it's great:)

you are the biggest theme park addict i know!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

That's our signature pose. :-P

Did I mention they posted us on the 'We Take a Photo and Sell it Back to You' booth at ValleyFair?

(http://photobucket.com/)

They took us down while we were gone. Boo.

[lumbergirl13.livejournal.com]

Can't be! Cedar Fair actually does some strange type of THEMING? And it actually MAKES SENSE?! Say it ain't so!

*shakes fist at local CF parks*

I'm still trying to figure out how a coaster themed around a horse has bright red track, and has nothing on the ride itself to think that you're even NEAR a horse.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

You don't even wanna know.

They even play different themed music for the differenct park areas.

The theming, of course, was all Hunt Midwest's idea before CF bought the park...

CF tries theming it on occasion. KBF really isn't bad, per se with their 50s look stuff (you know, the other overworn 'theme' they attempt besides ROBOTS and THE FYOOOOTURE?) but their Sacred Law of Nothing Must Block The View of Our Damn Coasters still hangs heavily over everything.

[lumbergirl13.livejournal.com]

CP plays different music too... 80's, pop, and orchestrated stuff on the main midway, country in Frontiertown, and something that resembles Kidz Bop in Camp Snoopy.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

But does the music really complete an environment when you're staring at pavement and coasters? Ya know ya know?

[lumbergirl13.livejournal.com]

No... Lately, though, I feel like something is missing when I go to Cedar Point, much less Geauga Lake (which closed for the season yesterday). Not sure what it is, but I can tell you for sure that I didn't feel like that when I went to Kennywood, Hersheypark, or Knoebel's. Even Dorney Park had that 'something missing' too.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Jogger Lake's closed already?
That sucks.

Normally, next week would be VF's last--but we stole Halloween from y'all, so we get more time.

[lumbergirl13.livejournal.com]

Tell me about it. I wanted to go to Kennywood this Saturday before we hit a comedy club in Pittsburgh (its right down the road and everything) but... they don't open until 7pm... With the free food that night and everything. Doubtful that I'll be seeing Cedar Point for the rest of the season, because on my NEXT weekend off, we're going to PKD to get season-passed for next year (at the price of $35 LESS than CP or GL) AND get to go to the park... and hopefully ride my 100th coaster. So it's looking for one more outing this year and that's it for me. :(

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

You have to make a special trip of it!

The ChickyTaters 100 or something...

[lumbergirl13.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll make it a point to eat a chicken sammich and fries prior to riding that elusive 100. And on the way there. And on the way back home. And in the hotel room. etcetcetc...

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

I wonder how close I am to 150 right now.

I was holding at 138 for a while, but the WoF trip changed my numbers...

[lumbergirl13.livejournal.com]

I think that Bryan is about 75 less than you atm.. I know he was around 50-60 last I checked.

And.. He posts on pointbuzz like... everyday. *sigh*

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

And a CP fanboy, too?

Damn. He's RUINT.

[lumbergirl13.livejournal.com]

What's funny is that I'm getting my own payback.. He blathers on and on, and I don't want to hear it anymore. I'm being annoyed by my past self. Not to mention that anywhere we went, it was CP this and that. I took to time to explain that not everything is CP, and to please let each park be itself rather than a comparison. He stopped that.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

What's the next step after ULTRADORK?

[lumbergirl13.livejournal.com]

He calls himself UBERGEEK haha

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

I don't think a T-shirt will cover it.

You might consider stamping that on his forehead! :-P

[nefret.livejournal.com]

your oldest looks JUST like you.

you realize this, yes?

::walks away like an egyptian::

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

I have a younger sister that looks exactly like us, too. It's almost eerie.

[nefret.livejournal.com]

i hear twilight zone music.

damnit. ::does the homer dance:: youre making me wanna ride roller coasterrrrrrs.

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Oh SHUSH, you.

All our favorites are right there by your lil' wiggling Neffiness.

You know, down the street from your Sushi Joint Of The Month?

[nefret.livejournal.com]

oh yeeeeah!!

and im gonna go there for halloween horror nights, too! hehehehe!!

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Can't hear you lalalalalaLALALALALALALAAAAAAH.


LAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[nefret.livejournal.com]

muahahahahahaha!!!

::devilish glee and rubbing of hands::

[san-simeon-girl.livejournal.com]

Great post to take a homework break to! Where is WOF??

[newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com]

Kansas City, Missouri.
Where LP swore she's gonna go for college!